Monday, January 9, 2023

Unfinished


These were my sister's last projects.

A few days after my last blog post, she laid them down and never picked them up again. The next month she was gone. Her projects, like her life, remain unfinished.

I've been trying to write this post ever since, and the words just wouldn't come. Even now they seem to be stuck somewhere between my heart and my fingertips. I think of her, and my dad, every day. Losing them both, six months apart, was crushing. Getting through the first birthday and Christmas without her was inexpressibly hard.

I'm sorry, friends, for this long silence. My sister was so proud of this blog; maybe that's why everything connected with it has been too painful to contemplate in the months since her death. She would be the first to tell me to buck up and keep posting, but up to now I haven't been able to bring myself to do it.

Now that the ice is broken, I hope to do better. Someday, when it doesn't hurt so much, I'll finish her projects. And maybe someday I'll be able to write a post about her, and about some of the things she meant to me. But not yet.

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Wishing you all a belated Happy New Year, with fervent hope that 2023 will be better than 2022.

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26 comments:

  1. I’m so sorry for your loss. Take your time!

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  2. This must be so hard! The unfinished projects are almost unbearably sad.

    Ceci

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    1. They are, aren't they? So poignant and evocative of the loved one, and of all that they might have accomplished.

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  3. I've been thinking why your have been so quiet .... Now I know. I'm so sorry for your loss, and know exactly what you feel. I like your "picture" of words stuck between the heart and the fingertips.

    Can I borrow it? I lost my son four months ago and still can't find words ...

    All the best!

    xxx Regula

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    1. Oh my dear Regula, of course you may borrow it. I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear your news. There are no words for things like this. I wish I could give you a good long hug. Deepest sympathy to you.

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  4. ((Hugs)) to you my dear friend. You are always in my prayers.

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    1. Hugs back to you. Thank you so much for the prayers.

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  5. So sorry for both of your losses. I lost my mom in September 2021 and still can't quite get my head around it.

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    1. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. My dad went in August of 2021, and I still think about him all the time. Sometimes I wonder how the world can bear such a weight of grief. Much sympathy to you.

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  6. Good to see you here. I know how hard it's been. Take your time and go at your own pace. Hugs, Sharon

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  7. My heart goes out to you, my sweet friend. I'm so sorry.

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  8. Loss of a loved one is unfortunately part of our life here on earth. It is unavoidable. Knowing this, does not make it any easier when we are faced with that loss. We have the privilege of being part of a person's life for a certain time. When that person, your dear sister, is no longer there, we feel great loss and sadness and need time to come to terms with what has been and learn to accept the way things are now.

    Your sister's unfinished yarn projects are a constant reminder of her absence, but maybe one day you will be able to finish them and they will help you heal.

    All my thoughts go to you in this difficult time of acceptance and the grief you are presently experiencing.

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  9. I can imagine how difficult it has been. Of course, taking time to heal and process is so very important. I hope that you have found some peace and are comforted knowing that you will always have us here no matter how long you are away. I've certainly learned that since my blogging has been very sporadic over the past several years. Finishing your sister's projects will certainly be a bittersweet labor of love but in time you will be able to do so as a celebration of her life. Sending you hugs and love.

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  10. Dear Sue,
    I was sorry to read this post and learn of your sister's passing, coming so soon after your Dad's. As your say, first birthday and then the first Christmas without a loved one...I say that you should take as much time as you want to get back blogging or doing anything else! Sending hugs to you, my friend. And stay warm in your neck of the woods! Be good to yourself. Love, Kay

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  11. So sorry to hear about your sister. This has been a very hard last couple of years, hasn't it? Take your time. I think of those I have lost every single day. Sometimes the grief is overwhelming, but mostly not. Here's a hug for you.

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    1. Thank you. Yes, the last couple of years have been ... eventful. I am so grateful that grief becomes less overwhelming with time.

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  12. I am sorry for your loss, I thought you were working on another book, or another project, lost my mom 28 years ago, and still hard. Please take your time. Big hug. Gisela

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  13. I haven't been keeping up with blog reading like I should so I'm shocked and saddened to read of your painful losses. I do hope you are doing ok and some joy remains. Thinking of you xxx

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